Sometimes a reward is sufficient for my child to find self-motivation to complete required tasks. Sometimes a reward has no bearing on my child’s internal motivation and we reach a stalemate. My child simply will not do what is expected no matter what the consequences: first removal of rewards, then punitive measures. Coercion doesn’t work. I have learned this the hard way.

Since I’m the adult, I have to go back and examine why my child won’t do the work. I question what it is I am asking my child to do. I examine what exactly it my child won’t do. Is the work boring? Is the work too difficult? Is the work that I am asking my child to complete absolutely necessary for my child to tackle at this time? Why? Is there another way I can present the skills I feel necessary for my child to learn?

Often, I find that if I back off for a while or reintroduce the subject matter in a different, more creative manner we get past the hump. I don’t usually withhold rewards for extended periods of time anymore if that action is ineffectual. Instead, I allow my child to go ahead and follow the other interests because they, in themselves, are also providing learning.

My child may not be learning exactly what it is I had in mind at that time, but my child is learning what is of interest to him. There are skills my child must have in order to function in our world, but how they are learned and acquired can be adapted to my individual child’s needs. Although, I was schooled, I try to remember that children want to learn, want to please teachers and parents. And like anyone else, enjoy praise. Knowing all of this and putting it into action is a challenge of homeschooling.

There were several reasons why I thought Valerie shouldn’t attempt homeschooling. First there was the exhaustion factor. And then the fact that Valerie knew nothing about teaching. And the fact that professional teachers presumably did. Valerie didn’t like what the Philadelphia Public School System was doing with her daughter. Too much rote and not enough inspiration. Too much tedium and not enough excitement about learning. And so it started – Hannah’s education.

Telltale signs that this was happening started appearing everywhere in the house, like mushrooms after a downpour. Big maps of the United States and then the world on the living room wall. Colorful little tables with colorful little chairs on which to paint and write. Block letters of the alphabet on all sorts of surfaces.

I thought Valerie would abandon this craziness after a few months or a year at most. She didn’t. Zachary, our grandson, three years younger than Hannah, passed the admission test and was enrolled in the Valerie Drake Altman Home School. Payton was still a baby but I knew her fate was also sealed. Slowly my fears dissipated. The kids seemed to be thriving.

Homeschoolers in Philadelphia were a vibrant community of gifted people. Mothers and fathers who had experience in different undertakings contributed their experience as adjunct professors in the VDAHS. The whole city became their classroom– the Philadelphia Museum, the Academy of Natural Sciences, all sorts of craft places and theater groups. Whenever Valerie gave a party, the house was filled with parents from all walks of life with their children, socializing just fine even without having learned this in the structured environment of a formal school.

The nagging concern of how Valerie would deal with the more difficult subjects taught in high school remained. She had never taught a foreign language, science or high-school-level math.The challenge grew when the family moved to Florida because Valerie had to start up all over again with a new homeschool system. She quickly got involved and soon the kids were working with on-line teachers and not only doing high school work but some college courses as well. I’m sure I might be a little prejudiced as a proud grandfather but I think the three grandchildren are more at ease with adults and more creative in dealing with challenges than children who attend traditional schools.

Hannah has done volunteer work for the Academy of Natural Sciences in Philadelphia and the Florida Aquarium. Zachary has won a bunch of tennis and other sporting prizes. And Payton is as quietly self-assured as her mother is headstrong. So all my fears were unrealized and now I rest easily. Or almost easily. I am bracing for the day when Valerie invites us down to Florida and announces, very calmly: “Daddy, I’m going to teach Hannah to become a heart surgeon.” There’s no telling what she has planned for Payton and Zachary.

I often hear, “Oh, I could never do that! I couldn’t stand to be around my kids all day. I wouldn’t know how to teach them.”

Well, with statements like that, you’re right. You probably shouldn’t try to homeschool your children. There certainly isn’t overwhelming popular support for those parents who do choose to travel this path. So, why do it?

Do you have what it takes? What does it take? Is this the right decision? Will you harm your child and her future life? Can you assume responsibility for your child’’s education? What if you fail? (What does it mean to fail?) Self-doubt, anxiety, hesitation, pondering and questioning should accompany not only the decision to home educate, but the continuation of any home education program on some level.

It is positive to examine your resolution and to evaluate progress along the way. Ahhh, there’s that word — evaluate. Judgment. By yourself, by the school district, the legal system, family, friends, strangers, and the often state-mandated evaluator. That’’s the wonder of the human existence – the ability to judge for ourselves -to think – to make choices. To examine a given set of circumstances and produce a solution. This is how you decide. It is a resolute decision and a choice.

It is not an arbitrary selection. Home educators are a committed lot. This fact alone — that a choice is made to homeschool — is demonstrative of strong conviction and independent thinking. That in itself is a good measure toward success.

If you think you can, you can.

There are many different ways to homeschool. Homeschoolers seek out resources to meet the learning needs and styles of a child. They may be … structured (conducting a traditional school program at home using formal education) or eclectic (mixing of traditional and unschooling methods for education) or unschoolers (following child-led interests without the use of formal curriculum or coercion).

Start by thinking about what defines an education. Educate yourself by reading about homeschooling, talking to homeschoolers, seeking out support groups, finding what is already available in your community, understanding your state’s home education laws.

Decide how to implement a home education program and then you tailor it to your child. If you can’t teach your child about a particular subject, find someone who can or use the Internet or a cyberschool or buy curriculum or enroll in classes at area museums or institutes, or homeschool co-ops, or go to the library, watch videos and dvds, read books, utilize opportunities at area parks, community colleges, and so on.

You must be committed to finding a way to educate your child. Homeschoolers use any venue possible deemed appropriate to further a child’s education. Creativity, imagination and perserverance are homeschooling characteristics. It’s your choice.

That’s what homeschooling is – a choice to raise and educate your child in the way that you as a parent believe is best.